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This post continues my journal entries from my 8th year of teaching. My current reactions/responses to this journal are in the [pink brackets].
December 4, 2012
My student teacher is almost done. We are having a party next class.
Tomorrow I am starting argumentation with the kids. Maybe I will do Outliers because I am not sure I want to teach a bunch of excerpts/essays/again, but it is overwhelming to decide…Sadie is using In Cold Blood. I have to decide tonight so that I have plans for tomorrow.
 |  In Cold Blood by Truman Capote |
[Here are some of my Outliers materials. I made the test below after my school had assigned Outliers for summer reading. I have never totally settled on what to do with Outliers so there are a couple of different ideas and handouts below. ]
December 6, 2012
My morning class expressed interested in reading Columbine when I held it up today. It would work with the synthesis paper…Actually Outliers, In Cold Blood, and Columbine all go with the synthesis paper. If I let the students choose 1 of the others, they will have a choice and won’t have to be put on the spot to buy the book. Sigh. Still feel like I am swimming around aimlessly in the new class. [This is me talking about teaching AP 11 for the first time...] We could do all of the pieces I want to, then write a persuasive paper, and then choose between 3 books for the synthesis paper. I think I will have them do most of the persuasive/open papers in class since it is way too tempting to get onto the internet and do a little research when given a prompt.
[The facilitator for my AP training session used Columbine in his classroom and had us read it before coming to AP training. I was in high school when Columbine happened and I remember security searching our back packs at the school doors in the aftermath. It was interesting to read Columbine to compare what I hear then to what Cullen learned in his research, but...yeah...it's a heavy and sad read. I never used it as a whole group text but I would offer it when we were doing choice reading. My coworker taught it as a full-class text after sending home permission slips.]
December 7, 2012
Today is my student teacher’s official last day. I can’t believe I will be by myself… I have so much to do. I want to try and play some games during grammar time; it will take me awhile to think of something, but in the past, the effort seemed to be worth it. We could play spoons with sentences punctuated incorrectly or different things…and my AP class…poor kids…I need to think bigger than the test, but this year I don’t want to screw them over by missing anything….
December 10, 2012
One of the hardest things for me to do as a teacher is to be caring when I really want to be mad. I have learned the hard way that getting angry does not help. When I want yell sometimes, I need to ask “why” instead. This does not excuse them from consequences but I guess it shows that you care. I got this from the opening of a book called Discipline with Dignity. I need to learn more about classroom management in case I have another student teacher and need to give them more strategies than “just wing it for 8 years and see what happens” or “keep them busy.”
My day was calm today even though I did not have my student teacher. It helps to be organized. Today I completely forgot to make a response packet for Thoreau. [I did finally make the packet...which turned into many more packets. My Thoreau handouts are here]
I am trying to mix up the vocabulary activities for my AP class.
December 7, 2012
On Friday I got into a power struggle with a kid. Rookie mistake. There were a few mistakes leading up to it. The first was that the game I chose was sort of chaotic so the class routine got messed up and kids were a teeny bit agitated. Then I didn’t circulate enough during silent reading time. Then I did not first provide a clear and explicit warning. One day I will learn. Hopefully.
December 16, 2012
Feel pretty fulfilled at work. Enjoy school, kids, and co-workers. Want to learn more and have increased flexibility. Need to get better at classes I am currently teaching.
December 18, 2012
Teaching a new class is hard. Teaching in general is hard. The hardest thing for me this year is not knowing if something will work or end up being a disaster. Feeling around in a dark room gets me anxious because things go 100% smoother when you have had a practice year or two. Also, I don’t think I am going to use a lot of this stuff next year. I really want to blow through the beginning and get to stuff that everyone finds interesting. I guess it basically puts me on a 3-year development plan every time I get a new class. So crazy.
I hate it when we don’t have food because I haven’t had a chance to food shop. The house is messy. It’s stressful to me even though it seems fine to others.
December 19, 2012
My AP kids are hanging in there but I feel like I am boring them to death…it’s hard to rethink lesson plans in the middle of the year. Christmas might help but it’s hard to tell. We are going to do nature vs. nurture/gun control and mental health, although that’s tied to nature/nurture. Madison saw a related movie, We Need to Talk About Kevin, so I will have to check it out and see if it’s appropriate. [I did watch it and it is NOT SCHOOL APPROPRIATE!] After that I want to work with Columbine, In Cold Blood, and Outliers, but I have no clue what I am going to do with them or how I am going to squeeze in the synthesis/research paper.
[These were some of the materials I ended up using for the nature vs. nurture gun control unit.]
Over and over again I have to learn the KISS rule (Keep it simple, stupid). I tried to do too much with vocabulary and it was close to pointless. Will try again today.
December 21, 2012
Well, I have managed to survive to Christmas break. Feel like a zombie who is limping through the year…that’s dramatic. I guess everything is just frantic, but I feel thankful for the students I have. I am very lucky to work at a school where people are very smart and the students are nice. Also, the school itself is run well and I respect my administrators.
January 3, 2013
So we are back in school. I have the jitters a little bit but I can’t get rid of them until I see how all my lessons go. In AP we are going to start discussing gun control and then we are going to review rhetorical analysis essay. I tried to prepare the quarter exam earlier this time around so that the kids who want to prepare earlier can do that.
For my regular classes, we are trying to get through Romanticism as well as persuasive writing. We are running out of time for the research paper, but we’ll just have to write shorter papers, I guess. As for the big picture, I am ready to severely cut down on Ben Franklin stuff so that we can get to more interesting stuff. I really wanted to teach Sharon Draper this year but I don’t know if we will even get that far. I also want to try The Color of Water.
Today’s lesson was only OK. I feel there were too many parts and not enough focus.
January 9, 2013
The 3-minute wrap up at the end of class is a lifesaver.
January 10, 2013
Felt cranky before leaving yesterday because I got an e-mail from the Director of Counseling asking me if she could move 5 kids from my coworker’s 5th period class to my 5th period class. Apparently, my coworker’s class is out of control so I need to take some of the kids. I guess I was just mad at being put on the spot. What was I supposed to say? Oh well, at least I was asked.
January 15, 2013
My classes are okay but I feel I should mix up the routine or do some fun projects. We are getting into the main drag here and fun lessons would help, but where to begin?
For the grade level classes, I need to keep trying comma activities even though I keep messing them up. I need to keep book talking, as well, by using a PowerPoint if I don’t have the book. I also want to do something about writing time. Start sharing out? Some fun activity that I can’t think of off the top of my head?
Also, I need to get to know the kids more.
January 19, 2013
On Wednesday we had bias training and mine was halfway productive because we talked about strategies, being a good person, bending the rules, and forming relationships. I expressed my frustration about kids hating me for nagging them to come to extra help, and the idea of “selling” extra help came up. Basically, I learned after all of this that putting on a song and dance is part of the game so “selling extra help” is what I am going to work on. I think I start tutoring kids after school soon for the state test, so that will be a good time to practice.
Anyway, it’s the end of the quarter and everyone is getting very tense about grades. I am working on getting mine squared away this weekend.
January 23, 2013
Let me finish with bias training. The last thing I wanted to reflect on was something a coworker said, which was that everyone can become a skilled teacher. He worked with teachers in Detroit that he said, “Lifetime movies were made about.” And then he said, “It’s not necessarily that they worked longer hours than anyone; it was just that they were highly skilled.” This got me thinking because, of course, I want to be a skilled teacher, but I also want work/life balance, so I felt inspired to keep learning and researching and trying new things…it was actually a productive meeting.
January 28, 2013
Today my boyfriend asked when I was going to be finished grading and my answer was “never.” It’s been like that for the last 4.5 years, SO it’s starting to bother me. The answer is always “never,” but hopefully, hopefully, next year I will get a break. Must be able to disengage from work at some point.
February 5, 2013
Teaching this AP class is exceedingly frustrating for me for so many reasons. There are so many words and skills that they need to master and so little time. Plus, I have not found a structure or daily schedule that I am happy with yet, so the whole class just feels stilted.
February 8, 2013
I say a little prayer every time the kids start reading or writing. I have somehow managed to make it to 3rd quarter. I am enjoying my classes although I am getting tired of planning for my new classes all the time. I wonder whether I will ever be able to stop and take a break.
I want to finish credits as soon as possible so that I can get a raise, but I want to give myself a break, too…BUT bye-bye break because the school just offered a free graduate class for spring and I am going to take it because it will save me from paying for the class on my own. I really hope I can finish all of my credits this summer. I wonder if we will get a raise this year... We got a cost-of- living increase last year but a real step on the pay scale would be great.
Today is Monday and it’s 3rd quarter. I still have too much to cover before the state writing test. There’s so much I need to change for next year.
My7th period had a good discussion today…finally…it has been really hard for me to get that class off the ground. I learn something new every day about how to teach this AP class….
February 14, 2013
I have a stuffy nose. I hope it just stays like this and doesn’t get worse so that I can finish out the week.
February 25, 2013
It’s only February. It’s 3rd quarter. I’m halfway through 3rd quarter, but I sill have a long way to go. Days are getting long…I am still shooting in the dark with my AP class. I am way behind with my grade level class. I have so much to change next year.
February 26, 2013
Work is so overwhelming to me when we are writing papers and most students need individual help. I want to run out of the building screaming by the end of the day. Must find an efficient feedback system.
Next year I would like to introduce all the AP essays to the kids in the beginning of the year. I will do diagnostics on all 3, briefly introduce each one, and then do thematic units for the rest of the year while incorporating the essays and doing mini lessons. [hahahah poor wishful thinking me.]
March 1, 2013
I am shocked I have made it this far into the school year, but it’s because I have a bunch of kids that make me happy. (Knock on wood).
March 2, 2013
I feel frustrated because I have been working my ass off for a while now and still feel far from my goals. I am close…but still far enough away to feel discouraged. I think that I have a good game plan, but I have had to pay a lot of money to get a raise, and it has not paid itself back yet, let alone turn into profit. I still have to pay around 3,000 dollars to finish my credits…if we don’t get a step next year, that will take awhile to make back. In other words, I am still waiting for all the work I’ve done in the last 3 years to pay off. I’m close. I’ve got to hang on.
March 8, 2013
I regret taking this online class. I am angry that I will have to put a lot on my credit cards this summer to finish paying for my credits…must survive this school year…this is the hardest part….
March 11, 2013
The interesting thing is that I always feel that once I stop taking all these darn classes to get my credits (and eventually a raise?), I will have time to apply all that I’ve learned. I’m excited to have time to experiment with what I’ve learned…I’m excited to have time to actually plan and teach… which is sort of sad that I don’t have time to do that now?
There has not been a time since I started teaching that I have felt like “Wow-thank you for this wonderful teaching tool/idea. I will now spend an adequate amount of time thinking about it and using it well.” It always feels like people hurl tools/ideas at you, expect you to hurry up and use it, and then throw more things at you. Sometimes, most of the time, it feels much better to ignore those people. Plus, it helps me to stay sane. So, I look forward to a time where I can actually apply what I have learned over the past five years.
I am trying to stay interested in this online class even though it is exceptionally overwhelming to think about “flipping” my classroom. I am already thinking about how I can change up things, and it is exciting. It is always exciting to learn new things because it gives me hope that maybe one day I will figure out this teaching thing.
March 19, 2013
It is that time of the year. It is still cold and rainy and I have been driving a lot and I’m crabby.
My commute gives me insta-chest pains most days. Maybe I can cut it down by teaching online classes.
Classes are going okay. Still bumbling along in AP. Trying to use Rhetorical Grammar right now as warm up. Going to start a research paper next and see how that goes. [This book is perfect for AP Lang but I remember being overwhelmed by it the first time I tried to teach the class. Now I want to use it and I have no idea where I threw the dang thing. Below is the copy I used to have and it's selling for 9 dollars. For some reason the updated copy is like 100 dollars...I don't really know what's going on there.]
English 11 okay. Starting Grizzly Man. I like it, but I don’t want it to last for 7 days, so we’ll see.
I am tired with a capital T.
March 20, 2013
Grade level kids want to read a book together. I can’t believe it’s 4th quarter and we haven’t gotten to do that yet. Maybe this is what they can do presentations on…?
4th quarter is a good time to experiment with things I want to try next year.
This is the end of my "Year 8 Middle" journals. The rest of Year 8 is continued here:
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